I celebrated my 28th birthday, completed my Swedish national exam, and started working alongside a new healthcare startup.
That’s what I thought I’d be writing to you about today: birthdays, milestones, and a list of reflections on what’s made everything possible.
However, whilst on a vacation with my girlfriend over the weekend, she asked me a question that I haven’t been able to get out of my mind since:
"What is happiness to you?"
It sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?
But the longer you sit with it, the more that question unfolds into layers.
Before I share my answer, I want you to pause and ask yourself the same thing:
What is happiness to you?
The Happiness Misconception
I know. It’s a tough question.
If you’d asked me a few months ago, I might have said happiness is something you earn. You work hard, find success, and at the end of it all, happiness shows up as the reward.
But turns out, I’ve been mistaken.
Because that kind of happiness is not natural, it’s conditional.
You’re chasing success in the hopes of happiness and unknowingly attaching it to an outcome.
And if you don’t hit that outcome?
Dissatisfaction, guilt, and worst of all, unhappiness creeps in.
What’s interesting is that this year, something shifted for me.
Rather than treating happiness as a finish line, I started treating it as the starting point.
I’m happy that I get to write this newsletter to you today, not because I know how it will perform, but because writing it is something I love to do.
I’m happy I completed the Swedish national exam, not because I know the results, but because I worked hard to get there.
Trust me when I say this:
When you start from happiness, it’s easier to navigate your actions, your thoughts, and the things that truly matter.
Happiness in many ways, is a state of mind that starts with the present.
So, if you’re chasing success with the hopes of being happy, it might be time to flip the equation.
Happiness Lies In The Little Moments
I came across this story recently:
A rich businessman sees a fisherman sitting by the pier.
“Why aren’t you fishing?” the businessman asks.
“I’ve caught enough fish for the day, I’m relaxing now,” says the fisherman.
“But if you fish more, you could make more money, buy a bigger boat, hire fishermen, become rich, and build a fishing empire,” the businessman insists.
The fisherman laughs and says, “Then what?”
“Well, then you can relax and enjoy your day,” replies the businessman.
The fisherman smiles and says: “Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?”
We’ve all been the businessman at some point — convinced we need more, and more, and more until we feel happy.
But chasing more is often what keeps us on the hedonic treadmill.
We run harder and faster, pushing ourselves to the limit to get to the next big thing, which sometimes never materializes.
The fact is that genuine happiness isn’t about doing or achieving more.
It’s about the little things like a quiet morning coffee, the feeling you get when you look into the eyes of a loved one, or the satisfaction of completing a project you’ve poured yourself into.
These moments are irreplaceable.
They may not make the headlines, but they’re the ones that give life its meaning.
Reframing Your Perspective
Another part of the puzzle is realizing that happiness is not just about what’s happening to you. It’s about how you choose to see it.
Let's say you’re playing Tetris.
When you start, you'll see patterns everywhere. But sooner or later, you'll run out of space, get stuck in a loop, and have no idea what to do next.
Similarly, in the real world, if you’re used to focusing on problems, you’ll only see problems.
But if you train yourself to look for opportunities, you’ll start noticing opportunities instead.
For the past year, every Sunday, I write down one memorable moment of the week and put it in a gratitude jar.
Most weeks, it isn’t something groundbreaking.
It’s just noticing something as simple as going for a long walk or spending a weekend in the countryside.
I’ve kept this habit going from the first week of 2024 till date, and heading into the new year, I’d highly recommend you do the same.
It’s easy, memorable, and helped rewire my brain to focus on what’s going right instead of what’s going wrong.
My Definition of Happiness
To me, happiness is freedom.
It’s the freedom to live each day doing what I love most: writing, building, and sharing ideas that I hope will spark something meaningful in your day.
It’s not tied to a specific outcome, a birthday milestone, or a test result.
It’s found in the process and in the moments that happen before the results ever arrive.
So, let me ask you again:
What is happiness to you?
Take your time.
And if you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear your answer.
Happiness is also a table full of food and coffee.